As an Enneagram 9 and INFP where the “I” just barely edges out the “E”, I’ve always oscillated between being highly connection-oriented and needing solitude. I love a good party, and I even more so love deep, hours-long, tell-me-your-life-story convos, but after a day or evening with others, I have to retreat to some alone time. For me, alone time isn’t just about recovering social energy — it’s a chance to reset, process thoughts and recharge my creative energy. Sometimes this means being alone on the couch at home, but other times it means being on a long hiking trail in the middle of the woods or curled up in a coffee shop with a book when I want to be around people without having to talk to them.

Since I love exploring and am comfortable doing things by myself, I’d always been solo travel curious, but I was also nervous to actually do it. I knew I liked an hour or two in a coffee shop, but I didn’t know how I’d feel being alone for days on end. And what about going into traditionally social places like restaurants and bars solo? Wouldn’t that scream, “She has no friends?”

Once I got married, I felt even stranger about traveling alone. There is some kind of idea in society that if you have a partner, you have to do everything together, and even though I don’t buy into that, jetting off halfway across the world somehow seemed too much.

But when I found myself with some freelance money saved up, a long bucket list of destinations and a biological clock telling me I didn’t have time to waste, I decided to take the leap and book my first solo trip: a week in Iceland, exploring Reykjavik and driving and hiking around popular spots on the island. I was both nervous and excited boarding the plane, unsure what to expect, but I knew at the very least it would be a learning experience.

What I found was that solo travel was one of the most fulfilling, enriching and rejuvenating experiences of my life. The fears and concerns I had quickly melted away, and I discovered a new side to travel that I hadn’t experienced before – one that I plan to make part of my life moving forward.

Here are six reasons I LOVED traveling solo…and why you should consider it too!

1. You get to travel on your terms.

No matter how much you like the people you are traveling with, traveling with others always involves some level of compromise. You have to fit everyone’s interests into an often too-short itinerary, time and energy is spent deciding where to eat and what to do next, meetup times are set in stone. While there’s joy in sharing an experience with others, it often means missing out on some things you want to do.

When you travel solo, everything about the trip is 100% on your terms. You get to create your own itinerary, walk into whatever restaurants and bars look fun to you and spend as much time in each place as you want. I loved wandering around without a map, just seeing what streets and shops looked cool and exploring them. If I decided I wanted to sleep a little later or spend a morning in a coffee shop before heading out for the day’s adventures, I could. I could pull over for an unplanned photo opp, skip a site when I was getting tired or pause at a place that felt really special and that I wanted to take in.

The fun of this wasn’t just the chance to be selfish; it was a feeling of spontaneity, flexibility and truly getting into the flow of the trip, going where the wind blows and being fully in the moment.

2. You travel more presently and see things differently.

I never realized how much of my attention and energy was going towards the others I was traveling with instead of the place I was visiting until I traveled solo. On my own, I noticed how much more fully present I was with each place and experience. I saw colors and textures and details that normally would have slipped past, covered up by conversation. I was able to breathe in each place, really being with it, and spend time there until I really felt ready to leave.

I also felt some of the purest relaxation I’ve ever felt on a trip. Most people agree that living in the present moment is the healthiest way to live emotionally, mentally and spiritually – but how many of us do this successfully in the busy day to day of life? Alone time gives us a chance to be with ourselves, and a vacation gives us a chance to get away from responsibilities and to-do lists, but I had never combined the two until this trip. When I did, I was able to tap into the present moment in a way I never had before – and I absolutely felt the benefits.

Often, I leave a place feeling like I’ve barely scratched the surface, with details fuzzy and time flying by, but that wasn’t the case during my solo trip in Iceland. I left feeling how you feel after a delicious, slow meal – full, happy and at peace – and with rich memories that really had time to sink in.

3. You can make friends — or not.

Traveling solo doesn’t mean you have to be alone the whole time. How social or unsocial you want to be is completely up to you! When I first got to Iceland, I was really looking forward to some personal time. Coming off the stress of the pandemic and lockdowns, political tension, a big and difficult move and some scary personal events, I had a major alone time deficit and was thrilled to be by myself. I was perfectly happy to drive around the country with my favorite records keeping me company, to wander the city without any distractions and to relax in the Blue Lagoon, just me and a glass of champagne.

But by the last day, I felt recharged and ready to meet people. I booked a guided hiking trip to a volcano and hung out with others in the group along the trail. That night, I chatted with a couple at the table next to me over dinner, made friends at different bars and had a fun night out meeting locals and fellow travelers. Once my energy shifted to being open to meeting people, it just happened without trying. And of course, you can always be intentional about talking to people or even connect with other travelers on apps like Travello if you are in the mood to make new friends.

4. You learn to stop caring what people think.

If you look at all the reservations I had about solo travel, there’s a theme: worrying about what other people think. I was surprised by how quickly those concerns melted away once I got to Iceland. I felt so happy and proud of myself for making this trip happen that I didn’t feel embarrassed going into a restaurant or bar alone. I knew I was out there making my dreams come true and living life, and that was nothing to be ashamed of – and I certainly wasn’t going to let being there solo keep me from experiencing everything I wanted to experience!

At first, you might feel like everyone is staring at you and judging you for being alone, but the reality is no one cares – that’s all just a story that comes from our own self-consciousness and society. I found I actually really enjoyed sitting down at a bar after a long day of traveling, going through photos and memories of the day, taking a minute to breathe and making plans for the next day. When I did share my story with others, most people saw it as brave and inspiring, not lame or sad. And as for my relationship, traveling solo actually made me feel closer to my husband. It meant so much to me that he understood me, supported me and cheered me on instead of feeling threatened by it, and it was fun to come back with new experiences to share with him.

I realized how often I’d let social norms and fear of what other people think keep me from doing things I really wanted to do. The reality, especially in your 30s, is that people are busy, everyone has different levels of time and money and flexibility and not everyone is going to be into the same things you’re into. To not do something because you’re the only person you know who has the desire and resources to do it at the moment is to miss out on life. Relationships and living in connection with others is really important, but there’s also no shame in spending time with yourself.

5. As cliche as it sounds, it’s empowering.

I generally feel like a pretty capable person — I’ve paid all my own bills since I graduated, I’ve lived by myself, I know how to do the things or hire people to do the things I need to do to survive. But very few things make you feel like you can do anything more than navigating foreign borders and language barriers and finding your way around a completely different country on your own. When I had a mixup with my Airbnb, I came up with a backup plan on the fly and even found a place to store my luggage so I could explore until I could check in. I rented a car and drove around on unknown roads by myself, figuring out traffic laws and strange symbols on road signs and how to use foreign gas pumps. I even attempted to go through self-checkout at a grocery store, where the entire screen was in Icelandic, and well, let’s just say I learned to ask for help. ;)

Getting out of your comfort zone and realizing that YOU CAN DO IT is a huge self-confidence booster that bleeds into the rest of your life as well.

6. It builds your self-worth.

“What do travel and self-worth have to do with each other?” you might be wondering. I would have asked the same thing before solo traveling, and this benefit was one that truly caught me by surprise. When I booked the trip, I saw it as crossing a destination off my bucket list, but when I got there, I realized I had made a big investment in myself…and that felt really good! I realized my dreams were worth spending thousands of dollars on. I realized I deserved to take a week of time just for me and something I wanted to do. There was no practical explanation for this trip or any benefit for others. I did it because I wanted to, because it made me happy and because it was connected to a dream deep inside me – and that was enough!

We spend so much time investing into others – our clients, our colleagues, our partners, our families, our friends – and even if we try to incorporate self-care into our lives, that often looks like something small like ordering Uber Eats instead of cooking or taking a 15-minute coffee break on a nice day. But when do we ever really do something BIG for ourselves? I didn’t realize it at the time, but solo traveling was me doing something big for myself, and that shifted my thinking in how I view self and life.