As a journalism major, I’ve always felt comfortable writing long-form content. Give me a news story, a feature article, even marketing copy, and I’m in my comfort zone. Especially if the story I’m telling is non-fiction, where I can observe and draw from real events, personalities, behaviors and brands to craft a narrative. I think like most writers, I love the having the spotlight off of me and directing it towards others — capturing the real stories that surround us every day.
But every now and then (very rarely), something else comes out of me. I don’t even know what it is — poetry? random dribble? — and frankly, I don’t know if it’s any good. It’s totally out of the wheelhouse of my professional training, of my frame of reference. But when it’s happened, it’s felt like almost something else outside of me is writing it.
I’ve always been too scared to share this type of work...I think because I don’t really know what it even is or if it’s good or if there will ever be more of it. It also feels deeply personal in a way journalism doesn’t, even though both rely on your perception of world. So, it sits in Google docs that literally not a SOUL has read.
But I’ve recently been learning that part of creativity is being willing to put the deep and unknown stuff out there, even if it’s a work in progress or even if the only purpose is developing the courage to share. I think when we share the things that come from the heart, the things that might even be incomplete, it breaks down barriers in us and opens us up to more creativity.
So this month, I’m sharing something different. Not because I think it’s my best work, but because I think it’s a shame for anyone’s work to sit hidden away in a folder somewhere on your computer. Plus, I can’t take too much credit for this one. While the words are (mostly) mine, the ideas are all Dostoyevsky’s, that brilliant S.O.B. ;)
choice is a gift they say
but what if freedom isn't free?
just give me something to believe
a system to trust blindly
don't you know that I am weak?
you had too much faith in me
when you let me choose free love
over forced dependency
scared to admit my need
who are you to make me clean?
I want something to follow
but I don't want you to lead
take away my conscience
but don't take away control
the world stands on absurdities
give me bread, I'll give you all
I reject the higher harmony
for something I can understand
a one way ticket to nowhere
seems safer than a higher plan
so I fire the first shots
of a rebellion I can't sustain
the thing I want freedom from
is where freedom gets her name
but when running leads nowhere
and when ignorance isn’t bliss
there's a secret in my being
that wants something more than this
and maybe it’s naive
to love the sunshine and the leaves
but in a world that’s burning to the ground
it’s the goodness that makes me believe